I’ve written about this a few separate times before, but if you read my content somewhat regularly you’ll know that when something surfaces in my real life again I feel the need to reiterate it on my site.
You may remember that I mentioned at the beginning of this year my word to focus on for the next 365 days, or 301 days at this point, is build.
Today I took a step outside what has been my comfort zone and I attended a roundtable event to get some more information and insight on a subject I am highly interested in. It was at this event that I was smacked in the face yet again by the ability of what we say and think to become present in our real life..
On many occasions in 2020 I have sat down to journal and have mentioned how badly I would like to get paid to write content for other people or businesses. I make it a point to sit down and write out, and sometimes even say out loud, what it is that I want my future to look like.
When I sit down to do this the same things will usually come out. A happy marriage and a healthy family, a beautiful home, successful businesses, getting paid to write for others, an opportunity to build businesses, and a handful of other recurring visions.
I’m telling you this because today at the event I attended, I had a conversation with two other gentlemen who are both currently searching for somebody to write content for them.
Nothing has been agreed upon yet as we have hardly had any discussions about it other than a few minutes today – but the simple fact of this door presenting itself to me is the greatest part.
I don’t need handouts or guarantees. I don’t need other people doing things and setting stuff up for me.
All I need is a drive to move forward. My drive to move this very website forward and make it bigger and better is what brought me to the event I was at today. My drive is what showed me a door, or two, to an opportunity to be paid to write content for someone else.
When you consciously map out what you want to happen, it makes it all possible. Hardly anything great was achieved on accident…
I can assure you that almost all of the greatest companies and the greatest people on the planet set out to be great. They knew what they wanted to accomplish and they found a way to get it. Of course the plans will never work exactly as we lay them out, but even by only wanting something and imagining it, you can create it.
I’m not going to go in to it but please do not forget, speaking things in to existence still happens even if you are speaking negatively…
There is only one word I will be focusing on for the next 365 days.
I am extremely proud of where I have put myself as a young 24 year old man, but I am not anywhere close to where I want to be.
Towards the end of 2019 I let myself slip a little bit. Not a fly off the rails type of slip, but I have lost some discipline in areas of my life that I have previously been much more disciplined.
Instead of concerning myself with keeping some of the good habits I may have lost and removing some not so good habits I may have picked up, I am going to aim to build in 2020. All of those habits will eventually fall in or out of place.
I have sat down and locked in on four areas of my life that I will build this year.
- Bank Account
I have also sat down and categorized almost everything I do on a regular basis, and filtered them down to either being a builder, or a destroyer.
It may seem a little extreme, and maybe too black and white, but at the end of the day, everything you do either helps you or hurts you.
I found the things that I need to do more of in order to build certain categories, and things that I need to do less of to prevent myself from destroying certain categories.
For example, something that builds my body is getting a lift in, and something that destroys it would be In n Out for dinner.
I’m sure you get the picture.
But if you haven’t seen or heard from me anywhere else, I will be having my first baby girl in May of this year. She still has a little while longer inside momma’s belly, but she has already lit a fire underneath me that will not burn out any time soon, or ever.
If I can successfully build the four categories I am aiming to build, she will be looking up to an incredible father. She will be surrounded by parents that love each other to the ends of the earth, and parents that will do anything to help her become the best young lady she can be.
Less about me, and more about how you can use the word Build to shape the beginning of this next decade.
Pick four categories that are important to you, I would highly suggest Body and Mind being two of them, because if you are aiming to build yourself in those areas alone, you are sure to tighten up in many other areas as well.
Some examples may be:
- Knowledge in a certain subject
- A particular skill
- Self talk
- Love life
If the four you choose are Mind, Body, Community, and Painting, let’s break down things that categorize as either a builder, or a destroyer.
- Builders – trip to the gym, yoga, walking, stretching, a full nights rest
- Destroyers – fast food, no sleep, smoking, drinking
- Builders – reading, writing, drawing, listening to a podcast, meditating
- Destroyers – too much social media, video games, porn, complaining
- Builders – volunteering, community clean up, organizing life groups
- Destroyers – being rude, staying home all day, littering
- Builders – taking a class, practicing, visiting art shows
- Destroyers – negative self talk, comparing your work, wasting time on other things
This was a pretty short list obviously, and if you truly sit down and choose your four categories, there will be plenty of meaning behind them. You will know exactly which categories you need to do a better job of building, and you’ll be able to pinpoint the destroyers pretty quickly.
It was actually easier for me when I did this to come up with the destroyers, because as I mentioned at the very beginning of this post, I have started to let some aspects of my life slip. I knew right away when I came up with the four categories what I need to do, but more importantly, what I may need to stop doing.
I hope this helps you set up the right track for your 2020.
Also, another builder I have in mind, is that I will start posting here much more consistently again.
You’ll never know how to get there if you don’t know where you’re going.
You’ll never know when you arrive if you don’t know where you’re going.
Once you get there, you will then have a new destination in mind.
Hitting the driving range a couple times a week has taught me a very important lesson that I don’t think I could have learned anywhere else.
Let me preface this by saying that I am an extremely amateur golfer. I lose multiple balls per round and I am the king of mulligans (if I’m paying to be out on the course I’m going to take as many shots as I please).
Now, referring back to the first statement of this article.
You’ll never know how to get there if you don’t know where you’re going.
On the driving range I find myself simply setting a ball down and hitting it. I have no certain distance in mind, and I really have no criteria for a successful hit.
This sets me up for failure.
However, when I pick out a certain distance or a certain flag, I start to find myself better able to critique and make corrections that need to be made, in order to get closer to said flag.
I am 24 years old, and often times I find myself swinging blindly in the game of life. No end game, no goal in mind.
This makes it difficult to move in the right direction. Simply swinging a golf club and hitting a ball in any random direction does not allow for self reflection, and it does not allow for progression in my golf game.
It is impossible to know how well you are moving forward and growing, if you aren’t aiming.
To me, aim is the most important part of life. At this stage in my life, I need to pick out a flag on the driving range and consistently aim for it. There will be things I do that will send my shot slicing in the opposite direction of that flag, and much like a bad golf swing, there will be ways that I will need to know how to self correct.
You’ll never know when you arrive if you don’t know where you’re going.
Second piece to picking out a flag, is that it creates a way for you to self reflect. If you have no flag or distance in mind, you’ll never be able to know what is good and what is not. If I pick out a flag that is 50 yards out and a little bit to the right of me, I have a determined set of criteria that will classify to me as a good hit.
40 yards and right on line with that flag would be a good hit.
60 yards and right on line with that flag would be a good hit.
50 yards distance but 10 yards to the right of the flag would be a good hit.
Picking a flag and aiming for it allows you to better understand what you are doing right and wrong, and ways to make sure that you can consistently deliver a good hit.
Now imagine I have no flag picked out, what constitutes a good hit?
Maybe 100 yards and straight ahead? Yes, that could possibly be considered a good hit. But in reference to what?
It is crucial to pick a certain flag, because if you aim small, you will know what you need to do differently to hit your target. Much like life.
If you don’t know what you want to do, who you want to be, where you want to be, what you want to accomplish, you will never have a way to tell if you are truly succeeding and fulfilling your potential.
Once you get there, you will have a new destination in mind.
Final takeaway from the driving range.
If I am at the driving range and I can hit the flag that is 50 yards out and a little bit to the right of me every single time, what will I do? I will pick a new flag.
I’ll pick the flag that’s 150 yards out and to the left.
Now the entire sequence starts over. I may struggle with this at first, but I will know in my head what I will consider a good hit in reference to this new flag. It all starts with me knowing what I am aiming for.
We as humans get enamored with our own success, and we become addicted to it. We seek out more, and in seeking out more success we find more failure. Triumph over our own failures is what feeds our fire. I will struggle with this 150 yard flag, but once I can consistently hit it every single time I will move on to another, just like I previously did.
I urge you to take no more blind swings, pick a flag for every thing you do and make sure you aim small.
It is okay to divide up your swings and work on multiple flags a day, but do everything with a purpose. Only take swings that help you get better and help you sooner achieve your goal of perfecting that flag.
Being in a new state and having finally got settled in after the move, I finally made time to find a church and attend a Sunday morning service.
It is the first I have been to down here, but I think it will be the one that I end up sticking with. It is a new, modern, and exciting church to attend that offers plenty of volunteer opportunities and ways to develop relationships with great people.
Now for those of you reading this that have known me for a while, and those who haven’t, I have a confession.
I did not grow up in a religious household, and I still would not consider myself religious today.
I don’t necessarily abide by any rules or views of a certain religion, and the God that a lot of people talk about and worship is not exactly how I practice religion.
For me I tend to understand things better when I look at ‘God’ and ‘The Universe’ as synonymous. Both have the ultimate power and have been around for all of time.
Now enough about my religious beliefs…let me tell you about what the service contained on Sunday.
The Pastor spoke in depth about judgement, and how it can hold us back from experiencing and understanding the relationships that we develop.
He also mentioned the way that we judge people, is ultimately the way we will be judged when our time comes. So in a religious sense, the way you look upon and judge other people in your life, is the same way that God will judge you when you step up to Heaven’s gates.
This is something that my not so religious side can take away and spin it just a little bit.
Instead of it being so much about Heaven, it becomes more about your true world and what you are living right now.
If you judge outwardly from a negative bias, that shows that you are experiencing negativity within yourself. If you see bad, you hold bad. If you see good, you hold good.
In the same way that God will judge you when your time comes based on how you have judged, you judge yourself in congruence with how you judge others.
Remember this next time you assume something about someone before you jump to conclusions.
Be patient, and God, the universe, will be patient with you. Show love to everyone around you and practice patience, and the same will be shown to you.
The other thing that was talked about on Sunday was how preconceived notions of people can put them in boxes that they will never get out of.
You look at someone, listen to the first thing you hear out of their mouth, and create an entire category to put them in within thirty seconds of meeting them. This can happen in a good way, or a bad way.
The boxes that you put people in this early make it tough for them to get out, and even difficult for you to get them out.
When this is the case, it holds us back from truly being able to open ourselves up to them and develop relationships that can be capable of love and compassion.
This is so true.
There are so many other things that we allow to have an impact on our relationships, and many of those things should not be prioritized over other aspects, but they are.
So moving forward, what I want you to take away from this is the same thing I took away from church on Sunday.
Hold back the reigns on your judgement after first impressions, so not to limit the potential of your relationships within mere minutes of meeting somebody.
Also, how you perceive the world and other people is truly how you perceive yourself. The negativity that you think you see outside of you is because it truly exists within you, and obviously the same can be said in the opposite. The happiness and positivity you see is what is within you as well.
I want to take some time out to thank everyone who has supported me on this platform and gone on to purchase The Mindset Muscle.
It means so much to me to know that people follow along with what I say and appreciate the insights I offer enough to continue looking in to my content. I truly do put all of what I have in to my posts, emails, and especially the book!
Over the course of the next couple of weeks I will be racking my brain to try and decide what would be another good topic to release a book over.
I am 100% open to suggestions so feel free to comment below this post, tweet me, email me, anything!
I wan to know what you all want to learn and read about.
I talk a lot about mindset and how important it can be, and obviously I am a very firm believer in this as I am working on my first e-book titled The Mindset Muscle, but one thing I have yet to touch on when it comes to mindset is how vital it is to remain open at all times.
Staying relaxed and in a positive state at all times will help you open up to the universe and accept the gifts that it wants to give you.
When you are anxious and nervous, you are blocking off the energy that the universe wants to bring in to your life.
So by staying positive and existing in a good vibration, you will allow good things to flow to you.
I experienced this yesterday and this morning with an opportunity that seemed to coincidentally arise after reading a book and listening to a podcast.
I won’t get in to too much detail, I did that in the email I sent out this morning to my email list.
But here I will tell you a bit about what I experienced.
I read a book yesterday that helped me understand a little bit more about who I am and how I operate, and I also listened to a podcast yesterday with two very prominent businessmen and they spoke about simply opening the door when opportunity knocks.
I learned yesterday that my personality type is the type that likes to learn everything and understand situations before I dive in to them, but I also learned yesterday that the best way to go through life is learning after you open the door. Because if you wait until you are fully prepared, you will never open it.
This morning I woke up to a text message with a business opportunity, and it was amazing how in tune it was with those two things that I learned yesterday.
There is a company that the owners want out of, in an industry that I know a little bit about but definitely not enough to kick down the door just yet.
But after the day I had yesterday, I know that I was put in this situation because I have been putting out good vibrations and positive thoughts, and so the I am being allowed an opportunity to help me grow and learn even more.
The reason I am telling you all of this is because I want you to understand that what I write about and what I tell you guys is the cold hard truth, and I practice it and I experience it coming to life for me.
It is real life, and that is how the world around us works.
So be prepared, be open, be accepting to new things that come your way and want to teach you, because everything that happens for you is helping to push you forward.