I’ve written about this a few separate times before, but if you read my content somewhat regularly you’ll know that when something surfaces in my real life again I feel the need to reiterate it on my site.
You may remember that I mentioned at the beginning of this year my word to focus on for the next 365 days, or 301 days at this point, is build.
Today I took a step outside what has been my comfort zone and I attended a roundtable event to get some more information and insight on a subject I am highly interested in. It was at this event that I was smacked in the face yet again by the ability of what we say and think to become present in our real life..
On many occasions in 2020 I have sat down to journal and have mentioned how badly I would like to get paid to write content for other people or businesses. I make it a point to sit down and write out, and sometimes even say out loud, what it is that I want my future to look like.
When I sit down to do this the same things will usually come out. A happy marriage and a healthy family, a beautiful home, successful businesses, getting paid to write for others, an opportunity to build businesses, and a handful of other recurring visions.
I’m telling you this because today at the event I attended, I had a conversation with two other gentlemen who are both currently searching for somebody to write content for them.
Nothing has been agreed upon yet as we have hardly had any discussions about it other than a few minutes today – but the simple fact of this door presenting itself to me is the greatest part.
I don’t need handouts or guarantees. I don’t need other people doing things and setting stuff up for me.
All I need is a drive to move forward. My drive to move this very website forward and make it bigger and better is what brought me to the event I was at today. My drive is what showed me a door, or two, to an opportunity to be paid to write content for someone else.
When you consciously map out what you want to happen, it makes it all possible. Hardly anything great was achieved on accident…
I can assure you that almost all of the greatest companies and the greatest people on the planet set out to be great. They knew what they wanted to accomplish and they found a way to get it. Of course the plans will never work exactly as we lay them out, but even by only wanting something and imagining it, you can create it.
I’m not going to go in to it but please do not forget, speaking things in to existence still happens even if you are speaking negatively…
September 2019 I got the type of news that will literally change your life forever. The type of news that opens your eyes to things you never even knew existed. Those two little lines popped up and honestly I could not have been more excited.
The months between September and December were filled with guessing games and predictions from friends and family, but my Fiancee and I (my Fiancee) already knew what was in there. From day one she had felt like the pregnancy was draining her and ‘stealing her pretty.’
So, since she felt that growing a baby in her belly was making her less pretty – which I assure you is not the case – she had the feeling that it was a girl taking it all away from her so she can have some. It’s pretty funny logic to me honestly, but low and behold…
Of course each father is going to hope for a son, and usually for their first born to be a boy so there can be a protector for the siblings. I don’t disagree with this at all and deep down we both had a desire for our first baby to be a boy. Since she already felt like she knew what it was, we began playing a game with ourselves to try and trick our minds a bit.
If we hope and assume it is a boy, we might be a little upset if it is a girl, but elated if it is a boy.
If we hope and assume it is a girl, we would have already accepted the fact that it is one, but if it is a boy it would be a great surprise.
Well, as you have already learned, our guessing game was right. The words ‘It’s a baby girl’ slipped out of the Doctor’s mouth and pretty much all we had to say was ‘We knew it!’
Ever since I’ve found out my first born is going to be a girl I have began seeing things in a different light and from a different perspective. All of the current girl dad’s out there obviously know way more than I do at this stage, but I am certain that these new lights will continue to be shed with every day that I’m waiting, and then again every day after she gets here.
After having done some independent research, one message I have heard about raising young girls has been resounding. Most parents of little girls that I have talked to are simply amazed at how intelligent they are.
I’ve been told how much quicker they develop higher levels of social intelligence, the ability to express emotions, and the depth of the love that they can show.
Before I continue I want those that are already parents to hear something – I know that I know nothing about parenting. I know expectations can always be thrown out the window when it comes to what you think your children will end up being. I know there will always be wrenches thrown in the tires and bumps in the road. With that being said, here are some of my expectations for my daughter and when raising her.
Earlier I mentioned how most men and even women would probably prefer to have a male as their first born to act and serve as the protector of the younger siblings. Now that I have a daughter coming first, my expectations are a little bit different – but don’t get me wrong, she will still act as a protector of her younger siblings.
Before I spend to much energy thinking about and creating expectations for how she will treat her younger siblings, I should probably see what I expect of her when it is just me, her, and her beautiful mother.
I expect her to be soft and sweet, yet loud and messy. I expect her to make me cry when she laughs, and when she cries. I expect her to wear her mother and I out with middle of the night fits and the times we know she is hurting but can’t tell us where or what the problem is.
I expect a lot of things from myself as a father, and I expect a lot of things from my Fiancee as a mother. I expect that we continue to love each other and put our love and our relationship above all else. If the leaders of the pack are not in sync, legs can start to shake and walls can start to crumble incredibly fast.
I expect that we keep our heads down and our hearts open as God throws at us adversity and triumph with each waking day. I expect that we model a happy and healthy relationship and friendship at all times, especially in the tough ones.
I expect that our families and friends will love her as close as possible to as much as we will – because as much will surely be impossible.
As you may have noticed, I have a lot of expectations for this young lady and our family once she gets here. These are the things I know will happen as she gets older and grows bigger and smarter.
Of course, I have my other expectations for her but I know that those will all be reevaluated with each day I look in to her eyes. Every time I see her I will learn something new about her, myself, my Fiancee, and this world that we live in.
If you are a soon to be #GirlDad, already are a #GirlDad, or have a chance of some day becoming a #GirlDad, I hope this helped you find yourself a little bit. I hope this helped you realize what you should and shouldn’t expect from your daughter. Without even having a kid I know that what you expect and what actually ends up happening can be two separate ends of the spectrum.
I don’t expect her to perform in any particular way in any particular event or circumstance, all I expect is that she will teach me more than I could ever imagine to learn with each tiny inhale, and each tiny exhale. I don’t expect her to win an Olympic Gold Medal or a State Championship in Journalism.
I simply expect that I will provide her all of the tools she needs to become a strong, smart, and happy young woman. I expect her to be surrounded by love and hard work, safety and opportunity – that’s really it.
If you have any thoughts or comments please feel free to leave a comment below – and if you enjoyed the article I would really appreciate a share on your favorite social media platform.
Find me on Twitter @Coach_Windy – Instagram @skylerwindmiller.
Ever since I began this site – almost exactly a year ago – I have experienced waves of emotions pertaining to the content I am creating. One day I put out what I feel is some of my best work, and maybe in that same week I put out some of my worst.
Sometimes I will hit a stride and post consistently solid content for a week or two, and then not even log back in for a month or two.
It is confusing to me why this is the case, but I think I am starting to figure it out. Before I say anything else I want to disclaim that I know the work I put out is nowhere near spectacular, but at the same time, everything is subjective.
To me – my best work is work that is outlined ahead of time, created, revised, and then published. I will admit, I do not do this on every post. A handful of the posts on here are a case where I sit down with a thought in my head or motivation from something else I have seen, I type, I publish.
I know that doing it this way does not necessarily create my best work. It often bothers me because I really do prefer to do things right the first time, and put nothing but my best out on display. This is all a learning experience though.
A goal of mine is to one day be able to make a decent living just off of my writing, and I know that in the very beginning stages of the process – like I am in now – the content I create is not going to be as good as I want it to be. The only way to get to that point is to actually do something. Even if it isn’t great.
It is common knowledge that every greatest in the world was once a beginner. It is said that Michael Jordan even failed to make a basketball team after tryouts one year. It is said that Thomas Edison attempted the lightbulb close to 1,000 times before he was successful.
I view my writing, and this stage of my writing career, as exactly that. 1,000 god awful lightbulbs. If I stop at lightbulb #60, how will I ever reach my potential as a writer? This is where the title of this post comes in.
It is so much better to do something poorly, a handful of times, than to sit and do nothing at all. Writing a few times a week (which I need to up, by the way) is molding my style and my ability in a way that doing nothing could never. Obviously.
Something else I really want to touch on in a later article is Impostor Syndrome. Not today though.
The following is penned from the book It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To Be by Paul Arden. I recently reread the book and this is one of my favorite sections from it.
Here you go –
It is quite easy to get approval if we ask enough people, or if we ask those who are likely to tell us exactly what we wish to hear.
The likelihood is that most will tell us nice things rather than be too critical. Also, we as humans have a tendency to mute out the bad that comes from others, and only hear the good. Selective hearing some could say.
So if you have produced a pleasantly acceptable piece of work, you will have proved to yourself that it is good because others will say so.
The work you have done is probably okay, but probably not great.
Instead, if you look at your product with some what is wrong with it glasses on, you are much more likely to get an answer that will help you improve.
Your idea as a whole may even improve.
And yet you are always in the position to reject criticism if you feel it is incorrect.
Arden’s book is stocked full of 1-2 page short essays that each hit you with an incredible truth. The precision of the ideas make it easy to decipher the meaning behind his words.
I have written about this before, but I personally need to hear it so I am going to write about it again.
Working your butt off each and every day like you will receive the benefit before you lay your head down to go to bed, but understanding that the best rewards are the ones you have to wait for.
Instant gratification does nothing for anybody. It tricks us.
However, when you are able to accept the fact that you will gain the most from that which you have to wait the longest, you will increase your chances of achieving what it is you wish to achieve.
Work urgently. Be patient.
Work like you have to get everything done today – but expect it in a month.
Construction sites are a great example of this. At a construction site the workers begin by laying a single brick – or propping up that first frame made by 2×4’s.
They know on the first day of construction that when they leave the job site, it won’t resemble anything close to what the final projection looks like. It won’t resemble the final product at all.
How often is there a construction site on your daily drive to work that you pass by twice – sometimes more – each day?
You play games in your head for a couple of months trying to guess what it will be before the building finally takes shape, right?
I know I personally do this.
Now think about the workers. They know the entire time what the project will look like when it is completed, don’t they?
Yet they are still content with leaving the construction site without so much as a brick laid on top of another. Why is this? It is because they practice such great patience. They know that the fruits of their labor will hardly be soon received. Yet they build, build, build, every single day – like they will leave the site with it complete.
It should be no different in your personal life.
*Again, I personally need to hear this, which is why I am writing about it – but I hope you enjoy it and get something from it as well.
You should attack every day like you are going to achieve all of your goals that very day.
Work like you are going to sign that 5 figure contract that day. Workout like you are going to lose 30 lbs that day. Write like you are going to finish the book that day. Paint like you are going to finish the portrait that day.
Keep all of this in mind.
Work urgently. Be patient.
A very common trend on the internet right now is doing the whole, 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years.
Well, today is my birthday and I am turning 25, so what a great opportunity to create a 25 things in 25 years list! But I’m not going to do that. I’m going to go for quality over quantity.
Instead, I am going to list some of the most important things I can think of that have really stuck with me up to this point in my life, so here we go.
Scared money don’t make money
If you are going to be successful in anything, you have to just go do it. If you want to win, you have to play – plain and simple. Say yes to things you might not be ready for, and do everything you can to learn, learn, learn, along the way. Take chances.
You won’t actually ‘start tomorrow’
Too many times in my life I have employed the ‘I’ll start on Monday’ strategy. Too many times, I never did. I have been fairly disciplined and done what I know I have needed to do in order to stay productive and healthy, but part of having a drive to get better is exactly that – I always want to get better. From here on out I know for a fact I will do a better job of beginning something immediately, and committing to it with everything I have.
No two people are the same
Just because something works really well for someone else, doesn’t mean it will work for you – or that it is the only way to do it. We all know how unique we are, and this is no different when it comes to systems and methods that help us become healthy and successful. Find what works best for you and roll with it.
Coffee is great
I love coffee. Black coffee. I drink it every single day. It tastes great and it helps me in so many ways.
The secret to success is consistent action
All you have to do is DO THINGS, and do them over and over again. You can learn anything. You can accomplish anything. But you have to actually take action and continue to take action.
Find your purpose and motivation wherever you need to
And as I mentioned above, no two people are the same. What motivates someone else might not work for another person. This is going to be totally unique to you!
The power of the Universe (God) is so real
What you think about and focus on is what you will attract, whether it is positive or negative. Your thoughts have a great power that will bring whatever they create in to your life. If you want something, ask for it, and then go get it. Karma also plays a part in this. What you put out is what you are going to get! If you are polite and loving, you will see more of that in the world.
There are more correlations between football and real life than you can ever imagine
People tend to mock sports as ‘just a game,’ but I swear to you football is so much more than that. Teamwork, discipline, effort, intelligence, communication, and more than I can even name. Having been a part of this sport for almost my entire life, I can swear up and down that it is one of the best ways to develop someone as an entire person.
NCAA 14 is the best video game ever made
I love it and wish I could play it all day every day. I did while I was in college, but I am an adult now so unfortunately that won’t fly.
If you don’t look back at yourself on almost a yearly basis and think ‘Wow, I was an idiot,’ you might not be growing
Idiot is a little harsh, but you get my point. You should be getting better each and every year and when you look back on yourself, you should realize how much you wish you knew. If this stops happening for you, you likely are no longer getting better.
Do what you love and what makes you happy
This will be my last one, as it is probably the most popular and the most simple. If you don’t like what you are doing, do something else. Make changes you need to make to make your life what you want it to be. You are in control!
Here is to another great 25 years!