September 2019 I got the type of news that will literally change your life forever. The type of news that opens your eyes to things you never even knew existed. Those two little lines popped up and honestly I could not have been more excited.
The months between September and December were filled with guessing games and predictions from friends and family, but my Fiancee and I (my Fiancee) already knew what was in there. From day one she had felt like the pregnancy was draining her and ‘stealing her pretty.’
So, since she felt that growing a baby in her belly was making her less pretty – which I assure you is not the case – she had the feeling that it was a girl taking it all away from her so she can have some. It’s pretty funny logic to me honestly, but low and behold…
Of course each father is going to hope for a son, and usually for their first born to be a boy so there can be a protector for the siblings. I don’t disagree with this at all and deep down we both had a desire for our first baby to be a boy. Since she already felt like she knew what it was, we began playing a game with ourselves to try and trick our minds a bit.
If we hope and assume it is a boy, we might be a little upset if it is a girl, but elated if it is a boy.
If we hope and assume it is a girl, we would have already accepted the fact that it is one, but if it is a boy it would be a great surprise.
Well, as you have already learned, our guessing game was right. The words ‘It’s a baby girl’ slipped out of the Doctor’s mouth and pretty much all we had to say was ‘We knew it!’
Ever since I’ve found out my first born is going to be a girl I have began seeing things in a different light and from a different perspective. All of the current girl dad’s out there obviously know way more than I do at this stage, but I am certain that these new lights will continue to be shed with every day that I’m waiting, and then again every day after she gets here.
After having done some independent research, one message I have heard about raising young girls has been resounding. Most parents of little girls that I have talked to are simply amazed at how intelligent they are.
I’ve been told how much quicker they develop higher levels of social intelligence, the ability to express emotions, and the depth of the love that they can show.
Before I continue I want those that are already parents to hear something – I know that I know nothing about parenting. I know expectations can always be thrown out the window when it comes to what you think your children will end up being. I know there will always be wrenches thrown in the tires and bumps in the road. With that being said, here are some of my expectations for my daughter and when raising her.
Earlier I mentioned how most men and even women would probably prefer to have a male as their first born to act and serve as the protector of the younger siblings. Now that I have a daughter coming first, my expectations are a little bit different – but don’t get me wrong, she will still act as a protector of her younger siblings.
Before I spend to much energy thinking about and creating expectations for how she will treat her younger siblings, I should probably see what I expect of her when it is just me, her, and her beautiful mother.
I expect her to be soft and sweet, yet loud and messy. I expect her to make me cry when she laughs, and when she cries. I expect her to wear her mother and I out with middle of the night fits and the times we know she is hurting but can’t tell us where or what the problem is.
I expect a lot of things from myself as a father, and I expect a lot of things from my Fiancee as a mother. I expect that we continue to love each other and put our love and our relationship above all else. If the leaders of the pack are not in sync, legs can start to shake and walls can start to crumble incredibly fast.
I expect that we keep our heads down and our hearts open as God throws at us adversity and triumph with each waking day. I expect that we model a happy and healthy relationship and friendship at all times, especially in the tough ones.
I expect that our families and friends will love her as close as possible to as much as we will – because as much will surely be impossible.
As you may have noticed, I have a lot of expectations for this young lady and our family once she gets here. These are the things I know will happen as she gets older and grows bigger and smarter.
Of course, I have my other expectations for her but I know that those will all be reevaluated with each day I look in to her eyes. Every time I see her I will learn something new about her, myself, my Fiancee, and this world that we live in.
If you are a soon to be #GirlDad, already are a #GirlDad, or have a chance of some day becoming a #GirlDad, I hope this helped you find yourself a little bit. I hope this helped you realize what you should and shouldn’t expect from your daughter. Without even having a kid I know that what you expect and what actually ends up happening can be two separate ends of the spectrum.
I don’t expect her to perform in any particular way in any particular event or circumstance, all I expect is that she will teach me more than I could ever imagine to learn with each tiny inhale, and each tiny exhale. I don’t expect her to win an Olympic Gold Medal or a State Championship in Journalism.
I simply expect that I will provide her all of the tools she needs to become a strong, smart, and happy young woman. I expect her to be surrounded by love and hard work, safety and opportunity – that’s really it.
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Find me on Twitter @Coach_Windy – Instagram @skylerwindmiller.